Dear Abby – My Own Relationship Advice

DearAbby 3

By Kelsey Anderson

Sitting at home and cuddling up to watch a nice chick flick is never off the table for me. But when you start to think about the romantic comedies that we have all seen you start to see a trend, some predictability. The guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after (if the girl is lucky the happy ending also includes a big diamond ring). Well, I’m here to tell you that life is not that predictable. The beginning is always fun, new and exciting so the real question is… how do you keep that spark going? How do you keep that connection strong?

We’ve all heard the saying, “couples that play together, stay together”. Apparently research and specialists agree. USA today reports that psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues, from State University of New York-Stony Brook, prove, “that sharing in new and exciting activities is consistently associated with better relationships”. Even hunting can improve your relationship, but where to start?


Try something new together

If the spark is dying and you have fallen into habits that don’t include spending quality time together you need to change something up. If watching tv is the only activity that you are doing with your significant other you won’t grow together or learn anything new about the other person. Some activity suggestions that my own significant other makes, like going to the shooting range, I am initially skeptical. But the worst case scenario would give me the opportunity to tease him  for the silly experience that we had. Best case: you find a common interest that you didn’t even know you had! When you’re in a slump in your relationship Huffington Post agrees with me because your significant other, “will appreciate and value the fact that you went out of your way to do it with them”.


Create more common interests

From these experiences together come new memories, inside jokes and potentially another common interest! But let’s not give up on the classic date night ideas. AskMen gives us their top ten date ideas, all of which include spending quality time with one another (what a surprise)! Some of these are bowling, a stand up comedy show, and eating out together. Although, I would have to suggest one of my personal favorites of mini golf and ice cream (BUT this was before I had dogs, so maybe heading to the dog park has bumped this one to number two on the list).


Feel that connection grow

And if this new, common, interest also allows for some fun and inside jokes then I’m all in. I particularly enjoy our teasing when it includes my aiming becoming better than his! This brings me back to the beginning, teenage-like flirting. Thomas Bradbury, co-director of the Marriage and Family Development Laboratory and Relationship Institute at the University of California-Los Angeles also quoted in USA Today found that, “People in happy relationships generate these activities, and as they generate these activities, it keeps their relationship strong and healthy and fresh”.

So, Let’s Review

How do you keep the spark going?

Do something new (together… obvi)

Create more common interests

Feel that connection grow

Lasty, don’t you want your relationship to be real fresh? Try hunting together.



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